Post number three. Today was a rollercoaster. I woke up wanting to cry, then I became level headed, chatted with Pitt, realized I want to give being friends a shot, then admitted to Sassy that it's not what I want, but I'm willing to try. Then I found out our family friend's dog passed away, then hung out with Pitt and company, and now I'm back to wanting to cry.
Don't get me wrong here. It's great hanging out with him and his friends while we're together, laughing about nothing, being goofy and weird. But then the end of the night comes, and instead of staying over (yes, this is what college students do, they have sleepovers with boys), I go home.
And it's not even that I'm going home because I have to get up early, so he'd drive me home and give me a kiss goodnight. Friends don't do that. So do you know what I got? A handshake. One of those bro-ed out ones. I get it! We're just friends!
It's just that this isn't what I want, but there's nothing I can do, so I'm becoming one of those "stuffers of tears" because that's what you do. You take one for the team, because I guess this whole group is like a team. And now, when I'm feeling my worst, and sharing with you all, I don't want him knowing that I am. I just wish he had never found my blog. And that Thursday didn't exist, if I could have more than one wish.
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You know there is always something you can do... You shouldn't put yourself in situations that are going to make you cry. Its your senior year. Its only supposed to be filled with happy memories. Seems like Pitt is being a little selfish. If he cared he would leave you alone because what kind of friend (esp if he reads this blog) wants to make a friend cry?
ReplyDeleteWELLLLLLL! On Friday night I'll give you a hug and a kiss? Or you can just sleep over wink wink wink
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