Goodbye, for now.

As I lay in bed, attempting to sleep, my mind began racing. It always does this, but I've taught myself to stop it. Instead of taming those thoughts, I finally got out of bed to write. Not just write for me in a journal, but write for everyone who has been a follower, reader, or just a passerby in my life.
         I'm writing to say goodbye for the time being. The blogger world has taken me on a wonderful journey, with several bumps that made me realize that it's time to put a hold on blogging.
        Originally, I had begun writing because I was angry. A new friend responded, well that's not good, when I answered the question of why I started writing. But that anger got me writing again. I'm not angry anymore, but I do want to keep on writing.
         This blog has opened up a lot for me. I've learned about myself. I've learned about my friends, and the people I thought were my friends. I've learned about my family. And most importantly, I've learned about how important love is in life, no matter what type of love it may be.
         This blog helped me. This blog inspired others, which is my main goal through my writing. This blog also had negative consequences. This blog pissed people off. This blog messed some relationships up, while opening my eyes to understand that maybe some relationships weren't as important as I thought they were.
          This blog was a public journal that turned into something more. The positive always outweighed the negative. The compliments drove me to keep writing here, but that should not be the main reason to write. I want to be a novelist, and I will be. I've written short stories and children's books, but never a novel. Well it's time to start that novel.
           In the book God Never Blinks, Regina Brett wrote about someone who inspired her, which has inspired me. Another writer, Annie Dillard, wrote a book that Brett felt should be shared in her book. Here I will share Dillard's advice as written by Brett:

"She advises writers to use all their material now. Don't save an anecdote, paragraph, quote, beginning or ending for some better novel or poem or short story you plan to write sometime in the future. The fact that you want to use it means you should.

It takes an act of faith. You have to trust that once you use up the good stuff, more good stuff will appear. The well will fill back up."

Well, I have been sitting on some good ideas for a while now. I actually have a running list in my phone of stories I want to write. Stories I want to finish. So instead of writing here every day, I will be writing my first of many novels. I will be acting on a dream, a goal, a future acheivement.

            I thank all of you who have inspired me to move forward. I also thank those of you, both new and old in my life, who have been able to give me the push I needed even when I may not have wanted to hear it. And to all my avid blogger friends, I will still read yours even when I'm not writing here.

            Thank you, and goodbye for now.

Runnin'

Running to get somewhere. Running away from something. Running to something. Running partially parallels with my life.
          I consider the physical act of running to be one of my biggest passions. (And now I'm thinking about  what my passions consist of, but that'll be for a later date.) I wrote my college essay on running. I consider myself an avid runner.
          I run when I'm happy, sad, angry, needing to work out, needing alone time, needing to think. I run for no reason at all. For about 10 years, running has been a consistent part of my life. I always thought that I needed to run though, whether it was to deal with emotions or to stay in shape.
          Guess what? I don't. I can deal with my emotions without running, and I don't need to run to stay in shape. But the other day, while I was cooling down after a pain-free run, I surprised myself with the thought that running used to be how I lived my life, all the time.
          I wouldn't stop to smell a flower, or take in a moment. Take in the smells, the feelings, the taste, the imagery. I was always feeling this constant push to moving towards or away from something, a fast pace.
          But now, I'm slowing down, in a good way. I'm not living my life like running. I'm running for pleasure, and my life has many memories because I'm capturing those moments in time. Examples of these memories will come later.

It hurts every time.

No matter how many times you feel pain, and no matter how many times you throw your heart out on the line, there is always the chance of getting hurt.
           If you're like me, you like to throw yourself out there, a lot. If you're like me, you're open to new adventures, new romances, new loves, old loves, any kind of love. Because I had a very satisfying taste of being in love, I'm always hoping for something or someone to come along and feed me more than just a taste.
            Luckily, I'm in the moment of forgetting that pain, that ache in your chest that hurts so much you can't breathe. Right now, my heart is open.
            I've chosen to put that pain in a box that only comes out in a really low moment. No matter what though, everyone has gone through it who has tried. Everyone knows that it sucks to get hurt. It sucks even more to truly love someone and then lose him or her. But everyone in this boat knows the truth.
            We've loved and lost. It hurts every time.

My platform friend

I know I've mentioned this before, but I love simple things. Especially simple things that make me smile. I have officially surpassed the two month mark of commuting on the train to work every morning, but it wasn't very long after I began this commute that I made a platform friend.
          Let me preface that my platform (of the train station) friend is much older, and he probably has grandchildren my age. It began as just a simple "good morning beautiful" or "good morning young lady." I would smile, say good morning, but I've noticed that my smile would linger. How nice it is to have a stranger tell you that look beautiful when it's not even 7:30 AM.
           The more important part is that it's very rare to have a stranger say hello or even smile at you anymore. And so, I appreciate my platform friend. Last week, we finally introduced ourselves. He wanted to know my name so that it made our greeting more personal. I agree with this.
           Now, every morning, as I wait for my train to roll in, my platform friend says hello, and always requests I remove my sunglasses so he can see my eyes. Greetings from strangers, but now a friend, is a great way to start any day of my week, no matter what may lay ahead.

Like standing on your tip toes

You know in the beginning of something, when you're so excited that you feel like you're going to burst? I know the feeling all too well. But it's as if there's a brick wall between you and this something new. So you stand up on your tip toes, trying your hardest to peer over to find out more. Then, no matter what you do, you still can't see. 

             I've been having those moments lately. There's a great excitement about the tip toe phase. What's next? And you smile while as you wonder and imagine. 

            But then what happens when whatever it is you're trying to see lets you in and gives you a helpful ladder to get over the wall? This moment of transition leads to a comfort zone, at least that's what I've found in some experiences. You get comfortable in your ways. You find a routine, and you may even begin to lose the excitement. 

            That loss of excitement, yearning, and eagerness drives me away sometimes. That fear is usually why I run away from the brick wall and head in the opposite direction. I have this fear of getting too comfortable, but is there something wrong with that?

             I'm young. I'm alive. And most importantly, I'm happy. It's just up to me to keep the excitement around. So the next time that I find out what's on the other side of the brick wall, I will stand back up on my tip toes to look over the next brick wall within this something new. 

Needing some motivation

Yesterday, I made a new friend. I like this friend. (I am still trying to decide what his nickname will be.) We discussed my writing, specifically my blog, and he complimented me on how I can write every day. I never thought about writing being unenjoyable or difficult for people. I hadn't thought about that because I love to write so much.
            Some days, I find myself struggling to find something connected to love to write about. Other times, I find I have too many things to say and can't write it all done quick enough. Today is one of those days where I wish I had a little more motivation or inspiration.
            Part of me misses chronicling my love life, especially when I am excited about the person I've just met and am bursting with the desire to share every little detail. But I am holding true to my choice of not sharing that with all of you anymore.
             Today, with my cheeks pink from yesterday's sun, and my back sore from tubing, I am grateful for my life. I am even more grateful for this gift of loving to write. I had not thought about writing as something displeasing, nor as something I could live without. I just forget to appreciate my desire to write and my passion for it that drives me to keep a blog and keep writing.
               My love for writing, and actually enjoying the act of writing, is mine, and mine alone. I would not have it any other way. And even on days when I need some motivation, I still push through to write because it's something I love.

A reminder

Be optimistic!

Don't be a grumpy

When the road gets bumpy

Just smile!

- Shirley Temple

Smile from a stranger

Last night, I went into the city to have dinner with a friend. We ate at the most fabulous restaurant called Flex. If you like seafood, mussels specifically, go!
            When dessert time came, I didn't think I had room in me, but there's nothing like key lime pie in the summertime... I can die happy now. Food completes me sometimes. And as far as my meal last night is concerned, my life is complete.
             On the train ride into the city, I finished one of the several books I'm reading, God Never Blinks. One of the many concepts that I took away from it was that I have everything I need. I really do.
             So when a little pleasure comes along, like a delicious meal, it puts my life into perspective again. I really have everything I need, so I'm grateful that I get to taste more than that.
            The train ride home left me content. I sat down in a three-seat row, threw my feet up on the seat, and prepared to nap. I didn't nap. I smiled. I felt truly happy, and then a handsome guy sat down.
             We didn't chat or have small talk or get to know each other. We each listened to our iPods, while making sideways glances at each other. He'd smile, then I'd smile and vice versa. He got off the train about three stops before my stop. And as he got up, he didn't leave his number, but he did give me a true smile.
              As I watched him walk across the platform, I grinned through the window at him, and he grinned back at me. Right at that moment, I was content with the fact that we were strangers and may never see each other again. But a true smile from a stranger is better than a fake smile from someone you thought was a friend.

Reevaluating life, love and relationships

When something or someone stops making you happy for a prolonged period of time, it may be time to re-evaluate that thing or person. Sometimes we don't want to reevaluate, even if we need to, like right now. But other times, reevaluating comes as an eye opener, whether it's to keep or let go.
         Last night I had a dinner with a new friend, who I think will become a very dear friend of mine. We will call her Sailoress. (I made that up because there isn't a female version for sailor.) Sailoress and I chatted for hours about life, love and relationships. We discussed our hardships and happy times, but we also discussed this idea of reevaluating.
        She made a very good point about the positive side of reevaluating - if you don't reevaluate, you may take for granted what you have. I love this idea! I love the fact that reevaluating can be more than deciding to keep or let go of someone. Reevaluating can be a reflection on the depth of a relationship and why you value it. Reevaluating can be a reminder to be grateful for what you do have.
         I hadn't thought about it that way. Sometimes we need that little refresher though to realize who we truly care about and to realize who has those important qualities that you look for in a friendship or relationship. Reevaluate away!

Letter writing

I'm not quite sure where I read it, but I think that it was in Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. This is one of my favorite books, and one of the books that I have actually re-read multiple times.
       Anyways, in the book, he mentions how some of our great men in history would write angry letters in order to feel better, however it would backfire when they mailed the letters. Eventually though, some of the leaders learned that it was better to write them, but not send them.
        Last night, before watching my favorite trash TV shows, I wrote an angry letter. I said all of the things I needed to say, and do you want to know what? I feel better. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Yes, I'm still sad, but I know that I can now start to let go of that anger to move forward.
         My suggestion? Write a letter. I do this often. You don't have to hand write, you don't even have to save it. But if you're having frustrations, doubts, anger, hurt, and you need to vent, write a letter. I know it helps me, so it might help you too.

Placing the blame

Humans are not perfect. Humans are perfect with their imperfections. When it comes time to point the finger, they point it at the other. In reality, that finger should be turned back around and pointed at themselves. I can find fault. I can place blame. I can complain. I can judge. Notice all of these I statements. In the end, the fault is no one else's but my own.
            I let this happen. I let this hurt come upon me. I let years of highs and lows happen. I did this. I allowed it. And now, I am walking away. I am letting go. I am accepting fault. I may be angry at the other, but in the end, it's me.
            For me, the forgiving is the easy part. I can forgive the other, and not forget. But it's the right now, when I'm still angry, until I'm ready to accept that it's in the past, that I struggle with. It's right now that I have difficulty remembering the I statements because I want to blame the other. I want to place the blame somewhere else. But I know better, so I won't.
           I just need to remember that I need time. If I cave too quickly, I'll blur out why I'm walking away. I won't do this cycle over and over. So I place the blame on me. I knew better. I know him better, and I expected too much. I'm going to own this blame. This blame is on me.

Rarely simple

Today, while chatting with a new friend of mine, and trying to figure out the best way to formulate my down mood, he said something very wise to me.

Important things rarely are simple.

It was like someone bonked me on the head, and I had an ah-ha moment! Letting go is not easy, especially when this person has held such a prevalent place in your life, and heart, for several years. Then I realized that I'm not practicing what I preach.
           I don't know if I wrote it, or if I just commented to my new blogger friend, but I need to remember that it's okay to feel sad and bummed. The decision that I have made is not simple and very important.
           So I'm going to allow myself to have my moments of sadness and hurt. My major concern is that my new, quotable friend may fill in that void too quickly. In the past, I would find myself jumping from relationship to relationship, best friendship to best friendship. Now, someone has come into my life who I could see being a new male best friend, but I'm being cautious.
          This decision of mine to let go of Safety Pin is causing me pain and grief. I need time to grieve this loss. I will have to figure out boundaries of letting this new friend into my life, while still allowing myself to feel the loss of someone I called a best friend for so long.

More Time

I have been listening to this band, Needtobreathe, because not only is the music good, but the lyrics really move me. The song that originally got me hooked on them is called "More Time." I discovered this song on the P.S. I Love You soundtrack, and I finally think that some of the lyrics in this song really relate to my life.
        Instead of babbling away, I thought I'd share some of the lyrics to the song.

I hoped that you could understand

That this is not what I had planned

Please don't worry now 

It will turn around

'Cause I need more time

Just a few more months and we'll be fine

So say what's on your mind

'Cause I can't figure out just what's inside

It's time

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You - Matthew 7:12


On Friday night, reality took hold. I took my rose colored glasses off and finally allowed myself to see the world as I should, even though that's not how I wanted. No matter whether it's your mom, your best friend, a boyfriend, or an acquaintance, I am reminded of the above saying by Matthew. I try act on this no matter what is going on in my life.
          And yet, where does doing unto myself come in? I've been a pleaser, a giver, and a fixer for the majority of my life. I put others before me for a long time, and sometimes I still do, but I've improved. I realized that here I was, holding out hope that something would change. I hoped that I would start to get treated the way I deserved. I would start to receive as much as I give in this friendship.
           The history, the complications, the hurt, the love, but it was the stringing along that was the last straw. It's hard when other people see it, know it, feel it, but it's not until you're ready to accept it that you hear it. Well, I heard it. Now I feel it, and it sucks.
           I will continue to do unto others as I would have them do unto me, however four years are too many years to give and give and give, but still be mistreated. It's time to let go.

Take me out to the ball game

I wasn't always a baseball fan. I used to think it was boring and too slow. I grew up watching ice hockey. My dad had played and had been bringing my sister and I to New York Rangers games since we were little. Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum?
         But I really do love sports; to play, to watch, to learn, to teach. As I got older, around college-aged, I start to develop an enjoyment in viewing baseball games. So I started to follow, and now here I am, proud to say I am a New York Yankees fan.
         Tonight, I am off to watch the Yanks play Tampa Bay with Safety Pin. I am beyond excited! He took me to a game for my birthday, so I had to take him for his. We had the most fabulous afternoon drinking, eating, cheering and loving. I am so grateful to have such a caring and fun person as a best guy friend in my life. I only hope that other people have people in their life who are as great as Safety Pin.

Men, oh men.

Yesterday, one of my precious magazines arrived: Harper's Bazaar. Cameron Diaz looked stunning on the cover, and there are some fabulous new fashion trends for fall, but those are not the things that stood out as I skimmed through the magazine.

It's not the men in my life that count. It's the life in my men. -Mae West


How simple. How perfect. How important. I love this quote, but I find some fault in it. As I reflect on the men currently in my life, whether they are family, friends, interests, or acquaintances, I notice that it's the life in the men that make them men in my life. It's those qualities that give them a presence in my life. 
          When I think of the most important men in my life, two of which include my father and grandpa, I realize that the life, spirit, and strength are the qualities that I admire the most. It's always important to differentiate the men from the boys (a lot of my male friends still act as boys), so I realize that the person behind the fact that he's a male is what counts. I thank Mae West for this quote and the meaning I found behind it. 

Lean Pocket, not true love

I'm kind of surprised at myself. You'd think by now that my love affair with food would have brought on blog posts, but the last time I posted about anything pertaining to food was with my baked ziti and meal for one.
       Today is day number two of eating a Lean Pocket for lunch. I got lazy, so I decided to bring these instead of making a healthy sandwich or wrap. Let me start off by saying that this is good, but I could do better. I'm trying to make it feel more gourmet by eating it with a fork and knife, but come on Fool!
       George Bernard said, "there is no sincerer love than the love of food." He's right. I love food. I really love candy and dessert though. And I love trying, and re-trying, foods.
       For example, I do not like the taste of truffle oil, but I keep trying it with the hopes that I will develop a liking for it. When I think about it, I'd rather eat a Lean Pocket.
        I love food, which is something kind of new for me to admit because I used to fight with food. Now, I embrace it. It may not be true love for a Lean Pocket, but there is a true love for the brownies that a co-worker brought into the office yesterday that are filled with deliciousness.

A vacation from life.

I woke up this morning thinking about how today is a new day, but as the morning progressed, I thought, how about a vacation from life? Wouldn't that be a fabulous concept? Just to be able to press pause on everything going on in your world? Pause all the things you love, hate, struggle with, miss, need, and want.
          Instead, I won't press pause. I'll keep going, but I want to keep going because I get to. I'm reading yet another book, which has opened my eyes in ways that I didn't think would be possible for me again. The book is called God Never Blinks, written by Regina Brett.
          In one of her chapters, Brett writes about "get to." Before fully reading the chapter, my immediate thought was, get to where? For such a long period of time, I would dwell on the past or think about speeding ahead. I thought get to meant get to where you're going.
         But that's not what she was talking about. Get to is a variation on the grateful game. Instead of saying I am grateful for my coffee, I would say I get to drink my coffee. Or I am grateful that I'm physically healthy enough to take spin classes, instead I get to take spin class because I'm physically healthy.
           Today, I get to work at a job I love. I get to have dinner with a good friend after work. I get to enjoy an iced Starbucks coffee. I get to write. I get to enjoy being alive. I get to love.

A special kind of love

The love shared between best friends is a different kind of love. A genuine kind of love. A kind of love where when she hurts, I hurt. When she's happy, I'm happy. And when she needs me, or I need her, we support each other. I'm lucky to have more than one best friend, but today, I want to talk about one in particular.
     It does not take much for us to show our appreciation. Shananny and I have had our fair shares of ups and downs. But we're both human, and I would be extremely concerned if we never had a fight in our lengthy friendship.
     Right now, we're all going through a big life change. We've graduated from college and are now a part of the working world. I keep repeating to myself, "I am not alone in this." And yet, sometimes it feels that way.
      Because of the closeness between Shananny and I, there are no secrets. There is no shame in crying, laughing, or going the extra five minutes to remind each other that we miss one another and love each other. That short text or email helps us maintain this strong friendship. But it also helps us keep and enjoy that special, best friend kind of love.

Going back on my word

I began writing a blog post today, but half way through it, I realized that I wasn't doing what I said I would not do anymore. Recently, I had written that I would no longer be writing about my personal love life, and what was this blog post about? My personal love life. 

         It wasn't anything negative, demeaning, or rude, but it did pertain to my own life and another's. Part of the reason that I decided to stop writing about my love life was out of respect for the other person and to keep things private that should be kept private. 

         But in realizing that I had been going back on my word, I noticed another reason why I should no longer be writing about my love life. Not writing forces me to deal with the problem or situation directly instead of venting about it here. Because this whole not writing about my personal life is new to me, I am struggling with it. 

          I want to share about what's going on in my real world on my blog world, but I am not going to. And with that, I'm ending this post.

Almost fearless

Have you experienced those moments when you're just so happy that you're expect something bad to happen? It's that thought where you think, well something bad has to happen because life is just too good. I used to have those moments all the time, but then, for the past two years, I have not felt genuinely happy, until now.
          So as I ran a couple miles this morning before work, I had a moment where I almost had this thought, but it was a different variation. I had one of those amazing weekends this past weekend, and I've realized that this is the first time that I have been happy since before my lost love passed away when we were still in love.
           But this time, I am a different and better kind of happy. In the past, I would feel like I needed a guy to complete that happy and whole feeling in my life. Now, I do not need to be with someone, or even talking to someone, to have that sitting on a cloud feeling.
           Where does that worried feeling that something bad is going to happen come in? It doesn't exactly. This time instead of having that looming feeling that I'm so happy that I expect something bad to happen, I have this slight worry about bringing a guy into my life.
            I'm in such a good place being truly single and not dating anyone at all that I do not want to ruin that by bringing someone in. I want to stay true to my "no dating" mantra because I am happy without a guy in my life. For now, I am just going to be building friendships. That's the plan at least.

P.S. I got my hair cut on Saturday. It's the shortest it has been since elementary school.

Belief makes things real

I believe in the Universe. I believe that the world works in strange, mysterious and magical ways. And I truly believe that sometimes things happen, whether they're good or bad, that align you with another person just at the right moment giving you exactly what you need and deserve.
        For some reason, I have crossed paths with another blogger who happens to be very similar to me. I stumbled upon her blog one day, maybe a couple of weeks ago, and have not stopped reading since. I could relate to her pain. I could relate to her genuine curiosity. And I could relate to her love of love, or as she puts it, anything having to do with her heart.
        This only confirms my belief in the Universe working to bring people together whether it's on a train, at work, or through the Internet. After yesterday's post about the simple things that make me happy, she commented on how she also loved those simple things. Coincidence? I think not.
         I wonder whether we would be friends in real life, or if we would just pass each other by. But something in the Universe sent out a signal saying that we should become friends, even if it is only through the Internet. For this, I am grateful, and I love my belief in the Universe.

Simply happy

Last night, I was talking with a new friend about the simple things that make me happy (and I love!). This stemmed from discussing my love of the color pink and purchasing two pairs of headphones, in pink! Then I realized how small and simple things can make me genuinely happy. This morning, I thought I'd share a few of the things that make me truly happy and I love.

• The color pink - I'm currently wearing a pink sweater, pink ring, drinking from a pink water bottle
• My brand new Magic Mouse at work 
• Strong, black coffee
• Candy - especially Sour Patch Kids, Heath Bar, Peanut Butter M&Ms, and Sweedish Fish
• The charm bracelet the family I babysit for gave me as a graduation gift - it's personalized to remind me how much they love me, especially because I dig for worms with them
• When Winston (my dog) greets me when I come home
• Diet Coke, in the can, ice cold, with a straw -- my guilty pleasure
• When people say thank you
• Sharing a glass of good wine with my Dad
• Spin class, even if I have to get up at 5:45AM
• Watching The Bachelorette with my Mom and laughing until we're in tears
• Baking cookies
• Giving lots of thoughtful gifts
• Sitting on the floor in CVS in the card section reading the cards to send that say I love you or I miss you

What are the simple things that make you happy? Or that you love? Please share. Have a happy Thursday!

Sisterly love, brought me to tears

"Don't be mad, but I started a blog." Those were the words that were sent to me by my sister. A pang went through my heart as waves of guilt overtook my body. Why my baby sister fears me is all my fault, and only I can mend that. After explaining that I wasn't mad, she emailed me the link.
             It wasn't until the end of a very busy work day that I could read her newly started blog. As I read, tears slid down my cheeks. They were mostly tears of happiness, but some sadness too.
            The love and admiration she has for me makes me so happy, but then the sadness came. She called us silent best friends, and that is what we are, for now. We are growing together, but my life experience and hardships have left me with some maturity beyond my parents's age creating a huge gap between her and I.
            I am working towards being the complete role model that she claims I am. The important piece is that she knows I love her with all my heart, and that is all I have to say about that.

Closing a door

The original points to my blogging were to start writing more consistently for myself, but also to have a public diary about my love life. I have decided to close that door.
       I will continue to write here on a variety of topics relating to love, but I am choosing not to include who I'm dating (or not dating) because it's time to keep growing up.
       As much as I enjoy choosing a nickname for someone or openly venting, I would rather someone's company. Maybe I will meet someone (or already have) who doesn't mind my blogging about our relationship, but when I put myself in the shoes of the guys that I write about,  I wonder how much I would really enjoy being THE or Bear or Mr. Pop.
       So I'm closing this door on my blog, but it will, in turn, open another. It always does. Don't worry this Fool for Love is not going anywhere, I'm just keeping my love life more private now. To clarify, this is my decision and not per request of another.

The name: Fool for Love

I go back and forth about what I think of the name that I've titled this blog. Sometimes I like that I'm calling myself "Fool for Love," but then there are other moments when I think that it sends out a negative connotation. I can be a fool for love, which makes it appropriate, but some of this name was inspired by a song by Stefy.
         Stefy sings a song called "Fool for Love," which I discovered on the John Tucker Must Die Soundtrack. Today, I'm in an especially good mood because it's Friday, but I thought I'd share some lyrics to the song that helped to bring about my blog name. Enjoy!

Yeah I'm a fool for love 
'Cause I just can't give you up 
I'm a fool for love 
Wish I could stop, wish I could stop 
I'm a fool for love 
'Cause I just can't get enough 
I'm a fool for love

Hesitant to take a compliment

What a fool I can be. You'd think by the age of 22 I would know how to accept a simple compliment, but I'm realizing I don't know how to do it.
         Why is it that I love to feel good? Or why is that I love the feeling of being loved, but don't know how to accept a compliment? Fool, just say thank you.
          I have not been good about accepting compliments. I usually counter with an excuse or an explanation of what I am being complimented on instead of saying those two powerful words.
          Thank you. See, that wasn't so hard. But maybe writing it, saying it to others for doing something nice or helpful is easier. I just can't seem to utter those words when it comes to my appearance or something I have produced.
           For example, yesterday, a co-worker complimented on my outfit: "you always look so cute." Then this fool responded, "I'm freezing." Why couldn't I say thank you? This isn't the first instance either.
           Or what about the times when I finish a project at work and I'm told that I've done a good job? Do I say thank you? Not usually.
           I think that the reason I can't fully love another yet is because I don't fully love myself. And part of loving myself would include accepting compliments from others. By accepting compliments, and saying thank you, I would be helping my self learn to love me.
           Next time I am given a compliment, I will say thank you because saying thank you will help me to accept a positive part of who I am.