Who knew?

So this is what it's like to be a mature adult, or not adult, mature human being. Yesterday, I wrote a nice email to Pitt, kind of explaining myself in the sense that my blog is my journal, where I write out my feelings. He said thank you for the email, then helped me do some work because he's great with graphics/computers. Then I spent the next several hours hanging out with him and his roommates.
          As the time neared about one in the morning, I was tired and asked Pitt to drive me home. He did. I thanked him for the help with my work and the ride, hopped out of the car, and came home. No tears. No anger. A little bit wishing there was more, but then think Thursday, and I'm brought back to earth.
         I guess I'm actually doing something that many people find impossible. I'm being his friend. This is what it's like to be around someone you have feelings for. You just kind of put them away, and pretend not to think about them until you go home.
         I weigh my options: completely protect myself OR have lots of fun... I'm going to go with fun. If I had chosen the protect myself, I would have been moping on the couch last night. But instead, I laughed all night with a bunch of guys and played baseball in a medium-sized kitchen with a paper towel roll and wiffle ball.

For me, that's all I need.