I've touched on this subject before because the last time that I fell in love, I was not looking for love. It was in a moment of least expecting it, and I now look back fondly on how passionately in love I was. So I've decided to stop looking.
Maybe it's because I want to give to my heart to someone who I know loves me. Or maybe it's because I'm not interested in playing games anymore, especially when it comes to sex and love.
I don't want to be seeing multiple guys at once. Or have crushes on different people. Or even portray that guys are easily replaceable, even though I don't think I ever did this. So I've stopped seeking.
I don't know what soon means, whether it's in an hour, in a few days, in a month, or in a year, but I am grateful that I know soon will eventually come.
When I went out last Friday night with SF, I'm not sure if it was because THE was at the bar, or if it was because I was genuinely uninterested in the overwhelming number of handsome boys that were within arms reach. Even when I was chatting with some of these guys, I was not in the mood to flirt.
I'm hoping that this was not because of THE's presence, but because I'm trying to put myself into "seeking less" mode.
Have you ever found yourself feeling this way? If you've ever stopped seeking and then found love, did you consciously stop seeking? Or did it just happen? I'm curious.
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I think it is okay to seek companionship, but I don't think you can seek love because love takes time to build. My most significant relationship came when I was just looking for someone to enjoy their company. When I decided I wanted to date him I pursued it, because when you know what you want you should just go for it. You can't expect people to chase you, sometimes you just have to be open to all the new relationships entering your life, friends or otherwise.
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