Thrown to a wolf

I cried myself to sleep last night. Just when I thought my tears would subside, they began to pour again. I was torn up into, what felt like, a billion little pieces. In reality, I am still whole, but my heart has been cracked.
                I never thought that writing, something that I love so much, would cause me so much pain. I also forgot that someone I trust can still hurt me.
                 I love writing. It is my passion, but when I think about how my own passion can be turned against me, in a way that tears fill my eyes, I question it. Then again, a passion will bring you to the highest highs and the lowest lows.
                  I felt small, helpless, alone and worthless. I did not begin writing this blog in order to feel this way. But if I throw myself to a wolf, I will get ripped to shreds.
                  My intentions in writing this blog were never to assume that guys were easily replaced. For anyone reading this who may think that, I appreciate your opinion, but that was not why I began, nor will I continue, if I do continue, to write.
                  Almost two years ago, I lost the person that I thought I would marry to an undetectable heart condition. We had had one of those fairy tale romances. Our story was just like one from the movies, however it ended tragically. After his passing, I made some choices that many people still do not agree with, but I did what I had to do to get out of bed and keep living.
                   Many months passed, and I decided to try to start dating again. I found a former flame who also had a broken heart. His bitterness came from how much his ex had hurt him, so if we encountered her while we were out, he'd pull away from me. I would give anything to have one of those encounters, if that meant I could see my lost love again.
                    It wasn't until about a year and a half after his passing that I met someone who put a smile on my face all the time and made me feel cared about. When that ended, I cried, but threw myself to the winds again.
                    Then, on Valentine's Day, I met Mr. Pop. I thought it was happening. I thought I had found this wonderful person who craved love as much as I did. I quickly began to trust him and confide in him, but only days after letting my guard down, he ended it. My anger and pain drove me back to writing, but this time, I wrote publicly.
                     Here I am today, scrolling through almost a hundred blog posts wondering why I've given the impression that guys can be easily replaced. The truth is that they can't. No one will ever be able to replace my lost love. I have experienced true love, and I know that fairy tales do exist. That is why I write here. That is what this "Fool" is looking for.