Noteworthy changes

When I was couch ridden in January due to dislocating my kneecap and severely spraining my left knee, I lost myself in books again. Every so often, I will go through phases where I read a new book every few days. Because I couldn't stand watching movies for 12 hours straight, I buried my nose in books.
            One book that I picked up was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. There had been a lot of hype around the book causing me to lose interest in reading it, but because I needed a new book, I opened it up and began. As soon as I began, I couldn't put it down. I related to her pain and suffering. I loved her sense of humor, and I admired her strong ability to write. The following quote struck a chord with me.

"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."

I relate to this quote in several ways. Mostly because I tend to build someone up in my mind, and then at the slightest failure of my character, he causes me to crash. What I expected of him was not who he is. So then, I would think that maybe he will change.
            We can not expect someone to change their ways for us, ever. Change must come from within himself, or more importantly within myself. It's taken me a long time to realize that no matter how hard I want, plead, or mindfully will a person to change, they won't change unless they want to. This is the same as how I won't change for anyone but myself. I used to be someone who would mold to fit what the other person thought I was or should be, but that is not longer the case.
             I've learned to accept myself for who I am. I've also learned to accept people for who they are, even though I may not want to. Whoever I end up with, I want the character of him in my mind to be the same as who he actually is. I don't want him to be playing the role I created in my mind, but for him to play the role that he wants to and is meant to play.
             Maybe this concept seems far fetched, or maybe it seems simple to you, but it took a long time for me to understand that he is going to be him. I can love him as he is, if that's the person that loves me and makes me happy and I make him happy too. Or I can leave him. It's the leaving part that I think we struggle with the most.