Monday, May 3, 2010

It's what you make it...

Annie Leibovitz, the famous photographer, came to speak here on Thursday night. And some of her parting words seem to capture exactly where I am with THE.

Reality is plenty. That's life. You make it what it is.

I'm sitting here writing this at my kitchen table, while THE taps away on his laptop on my couch. Yes, THE is here. We're good together. He came over tonight, put my clunky air conditioner in the window, then stayed to do homework, watch TV on the couch, order (and eat) more dumplings, then get back to doing homework.
           This is life. I am living, a reality. And yet, I still don't trust him. Is my lack of trust of THE a reality? Or am I making this up because I have previous trust issues with guys? Except for the fact that he doesn't want a girlfriend, he hasn't done anything to make me not trust him.
            Maybe the statement that he doesn't want a girlfriend makes me think that when he's not with me, he's with someone else. But I have no proof of this.
           For some reason, I just keep flashing back to high school, with the guy who reeled me in, strung me along, then tossed me aside. He did this all while seeing other girls, and even had a girlfriend!
            Yes, this is where my trust issues come in. So instead of drudging up the past, I'm going to sit here and reflect on that I like spending time with THE and want nothing more than that right now.

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