Where we stand.

I have been doing a lot of thinking, which is nothing out of the ordinary for me. Now I'm wondering, well where does this all stand?
         On Thursday night, after doing some drinking, I went home with THE. I'm not sure why I started to give him a hard time, but I did. Of course I feel terrible about this, but then why do I do it?
         Because once again, I'm trying to protect myself. I don't want to let my guard down completely with him because I know that there is no future with us, or at least, I don't think there is a future for us. And I'm still in a place where I fear getting hurt. 
         I just don't know where we stand: THE and I. Neither of us wants a relationship, but then what does it mean for us?
         I don't want us to stop talking after we graduate. And I would really like for us to continue to stay friends and to even hang out. We live near each other, as I had mentioned earlier, and that makes staying in touch easier.
          Is this something he will want? Later, when I see him, I will ask.