Hippity hop, he's not on his way.

Well Easter is mostly over, and I’m writing on my way home from a giant Italian feast, and some birthday cake (my birthday is Thursday). And I find that I’m lost.
          I’m about to embark on a 4-hour car ride with Pitt back to school. I’m excited, and anxious all at once. I like him, but I’m being a grown up, remember? No making out, Fool!
          Now there's Bear. Bear knows exactly who he is because I used to call him this while we were BBMing every day for a good three months. He took me out on a date during our winter break, and let me tell you, it was the best ever! How many dates have you gone on that last more than 3 hours?!
          Well, Bear has come back into my life, kind of. We had hoped to see each other this weekend while we were both home from school, but I guess it’s not happening. Last night he had made it clear that he would find an hour for me today to talk, and now I’m filled with disappointment. I don’t really understand why I’m disappointed though.
          When things seemed to be getting serious in February, he had made it crystal clear that he did not want to be with me. So then last night when he said he wanted to talk to me in person to clear things up, I was still left wondering what needed to be cleared up. What more needs to be said than I didn’t want to be with you? But I got excited to see him, and to talk and to laugh. (He made me laugh a lot; I miss that.)
          But now, I’m sitting here thinking, well what do you expect? Someone who has let you down before will do it again. Fool, you know better.